User blog comment:Jyggalag Daedric Prince of Order/Enter Sandman/@comment-5619706-20130507234234

I did promise I'd read this, so I did. Here's my feedback:

PROs


 * characters are written in-character for the most part. This is often the pitfall of many fanfiction--to survive this one is fantastic. That's nice.


 * featuring a creature never used in the series is a bonus


 * exploring the relationship between different groups of creatures with different alignments (a la "Hammer of the Gods") is another cool factor.


 * references to major arc is also another bonus--this is what keeps MOTW episodes significant and acceptable fillers


 * choice of title alone is amazing

CONs (not really cons, try to think of them as suggestions)


 * more of a technical problem, please put some breaks in between your paragraphs to facilitate easy reading


 * although the show has taken liberties in lore, whenever they do so, more often than not they drop an explainer. Cyclops are actually forgers in original Greek lore, so saying they hate fire kind of raises my red flags. However, it could work well with a good phrasing of the explainer (i.e., "Cyclops hate fire." / "I thought they helped Hephasteus in his forges? That goes against lore." / "You still think common lore if true? How cute." -OR- "Goes against lore. / "Of course it does. Angels are dicks, vampires aren't afraid of crosses. What doesn't?))


 * try to provide more detail in describing the environment and how or why it helps the interacting character work/this as they do.

Overall it would have been a good episode, somewhere around 8+/10-ish, if I were to rate it.