Criss Angel Is A Douchebag

 Criss Angel Is A Fagget is the 12th episode of Season 4.

Summary
A mysterious death draws Sam and Dean to a town full of old-school magicians. Their investigation leads them to Charlie, Jay and Vernon, three friends who were famous magicians in their day but have now been replaced by flashier, younger magicians. One of them has made a deal to acquire real magical powers, but the price was extremely high. Sam and Dean must figure out a way to reverse the spell before others are harmed.

Recap
It's Magic fuck Week in Sioux City, and Jay, a magician, sits in a bar amusing the waitress with card tricks. A younger magician, Patrick Vance, heckles him, calling him washed up. Later Jay and his friends Charlie and Vernon sit in a theater watching another flashy young magician called Jeb Dexter go through his paces. They bemoan that their day is passed and Jay is increasingly depressed. He announces that he intends to undertake the "Table of Death" trick that night, a trick he almost died trying 30 years ago.

That night on stage, as Jay lies bound under a rack of steel spikes about to descend, his death seems certain. The spikes fall but the curtain is parted to reveal Jay alive and well. Meanwhile, as he is leaving a bar, Patrick Vance falls to ground dead, blood oozing from ten puncture wounds in his chest.

Sam and Derp arrive to investigate. Sam reveals a knowledge of the world of magicians gained during a phase when he was 13. Speaking to his assistant, they find that Patrick Vance had a tarot card, the Ten of Swords, on him when he died. Dean questions Charlie and Vernon to no avail. They send Dean off to speak to someone called the Chief that they say once crossed Patrick. One arriving at the address, Dean finds he's been had - the Chief is a gay leather dom.

Sam is doing research at the hotel when Ruby arrives. She accuses Sam of wasting time while The 66 Seals are being broken. She tells him that the angels are losing the battle. Thirty-four of the seals have been broken. Sam says that he doesn't know where the seals are or how to stop them from being broken. Ruby counters that he needs to go after the source of the problem - Lilith. Sam refuses and Ruby leaves.

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Sam and Dean confer, postulating that Jay is using black magic to regain his old glory. Sam asks Dean if he thinks they will grow old, but Dean says that their life 'ends bloody or sad'. Sam asks if Dean wouldn't want to do something if they could end the demon war. Dean is suspicious that Sam isn't telling him everything but Sam denies it.

Back at the theatre, they find out that Jeb Dexter is dead. He also had a Tarot card on him. They confront Jay but he has them arrested.

Jay admits to Charlie that he doesn't know how he is performing the feats and that he intended to kill himself the day he performed the table of death. He also wonders if he should stop, but Charlie urges him on, saying how happy he is to see Jay on top again.

That night, Jay performs the Table of Death again. He succeeds again but backstage Charlie is dead, punctured through the chest.

Jay has the boys released from jail, and asks for their help. They go to Vernon's room to search for clues. They find an old poster of a young Charlie as a magician called The Great Dessertini.

On stage Jay confronts Vernon who denies any knowledge of what is happening, but then a young man arrives - it's Charlie and he is young again.

Charlie reveals he once worked with P.T. Barnum, who gave him a powerful grimoire that contained a spell for immortality - the enchanted pack of Tarot cards. He offers eternal life to Vernon and Jay - although it means Sam and Dean will have to die. However Jay pickpockets Charlie's deck of cards, leaving one with Charlie, and then stabs himself, killing Charlie.

Afterward, Sam and Dean meet Jay at the bar. He is depressed - his best friend is dead and Vernon has left. Dean tells him he did the right thing but Jay finds no comfort in that and leaves. Dean suggests to Sam that they have a beer, but Sam says he wants to go for a walk. Outside Ruby arrives and Sam gets in the car with her. He says he's in. Ruby asks Sam why he changed his mind and Sam says that he doesn't want to be hunting monsters when he's an old man.

The Douchebag Theme
By Christopher Lennertz & Steve Rangadakis

Lyrics:

VERSE:  The unexplainable (whispered) The unexplainable, in my reality It's not attainable, unless it's through me The darkness closes in, and bleeds into my soul​​ It flows inside of me, until it makes me whole PRE-CHORUS:  You can't see me You can't feel me  But I will make it real CHORUS: Mystify, sanctify, rectify, I rule the spirit world Mystify, sanctify, rectify, I am the wizard of life

Featured Supernatural Being

 * Demon (Ruby)
 * Witch

Trivia

 * This episode had a few different tentative titles, including 'Ace Up My Sleeve' and 'Magic Me'
 * The episode's title name is a reference to Criss Angel, a real life magician that dresses and wears makeup similar to Jeb Dexter.
 * The 3 of clubs that appears when Jay is amusing the waitress might be a reference to Penn and Teller, who like to use the same card for their tricks.
 * When Charlie and Vernon tell Dean to find the Chief, they told him to go to Bleeker Street. In Marvel Comics, Bleeker Street was the same street Doctor Strange's Sanctom Sanctorum was on.

Quotes
Dean: You must be in heaven. Sam: That's Jeb Dexter.
 * Sam: Wow, it's like a magic museum.
 * Dean: What a douchebag.

Sam: He's famous, kind of. Dean: For what, douchebaggery? Dean: There's been a misunderstanding. I, uh, think I've been had. Chief: Oh, you ain't been had, till you been had by the Chief. Oh, and before we get started, what's your safe word? Ruby: I should be asking you the same thing. Sam: I'm working a job. Ruby: The whole world's about to be engulfed in hellfire, and you're here in Magictown, U.S.A. Sam: You got something against magic?
 * Dean: I don't even want to know how you know that.
 * Chief: You are really gonna get it tonight, big boy.
 * Sam: What are you doing here, Ruby?